Ask Gigi

Welcome to Ask Gigi, a column where psychosexual therapist, Gigi
Engle, answers your most intimate questions and explores a range of
sexual health topics. .

Gigi Engle Gigi Engle

The rise of ‘Soft Kink’ and why not everything needs to be extreme

Soft kink is redefining what it means to explore desire—less about intensity, more about intention. It lives in the quiet power of anticipation, subtle control, and emotional presence. This is your invitation to slow down, tune in, and discover why softer doesn’t mean less—it often means deeper, more connected, and far more satisfying.

Read More
Gigi Engle Gigi Engle

What is ‘outstroking’?

Outstroking flips the script on what we’ve been taught sex “should” look like. Instead of prioritising penetration, it centres external stimulation, pressure, and friction—aka the kind of touch many bodies actually respond to. The result? Less performance pressure, more pleasure, and a deeper sense of connection. This isn’t about adding a new move—it’s about rethinking the goal entirely. When you slow down and focus on sensation, sex stops being a checklist and starts being an experience.

Read More
Gigi Engle Gigi Engle

Why some people get turned on by anatomically correct dirty talk

Human sexuality is endlessly creative, and the words we hear during sex can shape how arousal unfolds. While classic dirty talk works for many people, others find themselves more turned on by precise, anatomically correct language. It may sound nerdy at first, but there are real psychological reasons this kind of communication can feel exciting, playful, and even empowering. From novelty to reduced shame, the language we use during intimacy says a lot about how our brains—and bodies—experience pleasure.

Read More