Ask Gigi
Categories
- Arya Bedroom Wrapped report
- Assertiveness in Relationships
- BDSM armpit play
- BDSM mental health
- BDSM psychology
- BDSMdynamics
- Better Sex Tips
- CAT Sex Position
- CNM
- Clitoral Stimulation
- Coital Alignment Technique
- Communication Psychology
- D/s dynamics
- DigitalRomance
- Direct Communication Skills
- Dry Begging
- ED
- Emotional Vulnerability
- How to Ask for What You Want
- Missionary Position Upgrade
- Transcendentalsex
- US intimacy data
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- aftercare
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- ageandlibido
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- analsex
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- attraction and intimacy
- balloonfetish
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- being good in bed
- benefits of physical touch
- besttimesforsex
- boostlibido
Welcome to Ask Gigi, a column where psychosexual therapist, Gigi
Engle, answers your most intimate questions and explores a range of
sexual health topics. .
8 tips for using vibrators more effectively
Learning how to use a vibrator isn’t about turning up the intensity, it’s about understanding your body. In this expert-led guide, sex educator Gigi Engle shares eight pleasure-first vibrator tips, from starting slower than you think to using lube, switching vibration patterns, and reducing orgasm pressure. Whether you’re new to vibrators or looking to improve sensation, these tips help make solo pleasure feel more connected, comfortable, and genuinely satisfying.
5 unexpected signs you’re a great kisser
Great kissing isn’t about technique alone. It’s about presence, emotional intelligence, and how you respond to your partner in the moment. From body awareness to pacing and desire, these unexpected signs reveal what actually makes someone a great kisser and why people want to come back for more.
5 signs you’re really good in bed
What does being good in bed really mean? Great sex isn’t about performance, it’s actually about curiosity, communication, and understanding desire. This expert guide explores how slowing down, navigating power dynamics, and prioritizing aftercare create deeper connection, better pleasure, and sex people actually want to repeat again and again, with confidence, intimacy.
Ready for better orgasms? Meet the Coital Alignment Technique
The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is a simple upgrade to the missionary position that increases clitoral stimulation and can make orgasms easier to achieve. Instead of traditional thrusting, CAT uses slow, intentional rocking to keep consistent pressure on the clitoris. As a sex therapist, I recommend CAT for couples who want better sex, deeper intimacy, and more reliable pleasure. It’s an anatomy-focused technique that helps partners feel more connected while boosting orgasm potential.
Are you ‘dry begging’ with your partner?
Ever find yourself dropping hints, sighing, or over-explaining, hoping someone magically understands your needs? That’s called dry begging and it’s exhausting. Rooted in socialization and fear of rejection, it keeps us anxious, resentful, and stuck in unhealthy patterns. The solution? Direct, clear communication. By naming what you want, practicing assertiveness, and embracing vulnerability, you reclaim your voice and strengthen your relationships. Stop hoping people read your mind and learn to ask with clarity, confidence, and self-respect.
The interesting psychology behind armpit kinks
Armpit fetishes aren’t just about sweat. They’re about sensitivity, vulnerability, and pleasure. This taboo kink often overlaps with tickling, power play, and BDSM, turning a nerve-dense spot into a hotspot for erotic exploration. Online communities have made it easier to embrace this kink without shame. Understanding the kink’s roots in consent, sensation, and meaning is the first step to exploring it responsibly and confidently.
Your guide to ‘Dom Burnout’ in BDSM dynamics
Dom burnout is a common but overlooked experience for many dominants in BDSM and D/s dynamics. When the emotional, psychological, and cognitive demands of dominance start outweighing the pleasure of the role, exhaustion, detachment, and overwhelm can set in. Let’s get into what dom burnout is, why it happens, the psychological factors behind it, and how dominants can recover and reconnect with their power in a healthy, sustainable way.
Understanding ownership kinks and why we might have them
Exploring an ownership kink doesn’t mean giving up your independence—it’s a way to understand your desires on a deeper psychological level. Let’s break down why power-exchange dynamics feel so magnetic, especially for people who are strong, self-reliant, and craving a place to let go. Learn how trust, negotiation, and emotional safety turn ownership kink into a powerful tool for intimacy and self-discovery.
Having a “Home-Wrecker” kink is a thing. Here’s how to explore it safely and ethically
A clear, nonjudgmental overview of the home-wrecker kink, including why taboo fantasies can feel so powerful, the psychological factors behind them, and practical guidance for exploring this desire safely and ethically. Learn how to distinguish fantasy from real-world behavior, engage in healthy communication, and approach kink exploration with awareness and consent.
The truth about sexual compatibility
Sexual compatibility isn’t some magical spark, it’s something you build together. How you think about sex, whether it’s fixed or something you can grow, shapes desire, connection, and satisfaction. Let’s break down the psychology of sexual compatibility and share practical ways to keep your intimate life thriving.
The interesting science of touch and why it matters for intimacy
Discover how physical and sexual touch shape your relationships on a biological level. Let’s breakdown down how oxytocin, co-regulation, and nervous system responses help you feel closer, safer, and more connected to the people you love.
What America was really exploring in bed this year
Arya’s 2025 “Bedroom Wrapped” highlights how people across the U.S. explored intimacy and sexual wellbeing this year. With over 622,000 hours spent on guided practices, the data shows a growing desire for intentional, skill-based connection. Red states leaned into sensation-focused intimacy, including oral play and physical exploration, while blue states favored mindful touch, sensory play, and emotionally grounded practices. Nationwide, the top trends were oral sex, playfulness, sensory exploration, massage, and erotic communication. These findings reflect a broader shift toward healthier relationships, clearer communication, and deeper body awareness as Americans become more open and curious about their erotic lives.
The psychology behind slow undressing for increased intimacy
Undressing is often treated as a logistical step: a quick transition between kissing and whatever comes next. But in reality, undressing someone slowly and intentionally is a powerful form of foreplay—one that engages the mind, the nervous system, and the senses.
Have you heard of Pebbling? The cutest little dating trend ever.
If you’ve ever sent your partner a meme that made you think of them, a TikTok that made you snort-laugh, or even a random reel because “this is so us,” congratulations — you’ve pebbled. You might not have known there was a word for it, but you’ve been doing it all along.
Is masturbation the key to better self-image?
Masturbation is one of the most authentic expressions of sexuality there is — and it’s time we stopped treating it like a guilty secret. If you need a little science-backed motivation to get on board (pun absolutely intended), here’s what’s really happening when you take time for yourself.
A guy’s guide to embracing your inner submissive
Question: How do I embrace my inner submissive as a cis-man?
Is asking to sext right away a red flag?
Question: Is wanting to sext right away a red flag?
What is the ‘bristle effect’ in relationships?
Question: What is the bristle effect? And can it impact your relationship?
