Ask Gigi

Welcome to Ask Gigi, a column where psychosexual therapist, Gigi
Engle, answers your most intimate questions and explores a range of
sexual health topics. .

Gigi Engle Gigi Engle

Is it normal that my fantasies are different than what I want IRL sex?

What does it mean when your fantasies feel completely different from what you’d want in real life? For many people, this gap can feel confusing—but it’s far more common than you might think. Fantasy isn’t a blueprint; it’s a space where the mind explores feelings, dynamics, and possibilities without consequence. In this piece, we look at why fantasy and reality don’t always align, what your inner world might be expressing, and how to approach it with curiosity rather than judgment.

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Gigi Engle Gigi Engle

Your guide to ‘Dom Burnout’ in BDSM dynamics

Dom burnout is a common but overlooked experience for many dominants in BDSM and D/s dynamics. When the emotional, psychological, and cognitive demands of dominance start outweighing the pleasure of the role, exhaustion, detachment, and overwhelm can set in. Let’s get into what dom burnout is, why it happens, the psychological factors behind it, and how dominants can recover and reconnect with their power in a healthy, sustainable way.

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