3 big things to consider before having a threesome
Question: If you had to boil it down to your top 3, what would you say your tips would be for a successful threesome?
3 big things that should be considered to have a happy and healthy threesome.
1. Set up a threesome efficiently and respectfully
Unsurprisingly, the first hurdle of acting in a threesome fantasy is figuring out how you find a third person (if you’re in a couple) or how you find a couple (if you’re solo and looking to guest star).
While some threesomes can be spontaneous after a night out, most are found via dating apps. And there are ones specifically designed for people looking for alternative relationship-styles and hookups: Check out 3Fun, if you're looking to open up. It's the most secure threesome dating app available and makes finding a third person simple.
When it comes to drawing up a profile, be open and honest about what you’re looking for. If you’re in a couple, write it together, being clear about what you’re looking to get out of the experience. When it comes to sex, you do not want to be sketchy or cagey about what you’re after. Be truthful and you’ll be rewarded.
2. Ensure the experience is a respectful, sexy experience, both physically and emotionally
Thorough communication and explicit consent is needed before you engage in a threesome. Even if you pick up a third at a bar (or are the third at the bar), you need to express your needs, wants, hopes, and fears for this particular experience. It’s not a good idea to fumble your way through group sex, especially as a newbie. You may wind up with a personal boundary crossed. It's important to remember that what works for one person won't always work for another. Discuss your boundaries - but be willing to be flexible, in the instance someone finds they aren't into something (just like with Miranda!)
3. Always manage your expectations because this is an IRL situation
Every threesome experience is different, and not all of them are going to be great. You can minimize the likelihood of a straight-up bad situation by following these steps, but even so, stuff happens. That’s just how sex works.
Since this group sex thing is new to you, there may be performance anxiety, strong emotions that pop up, or general awkwardness. Manage your expectations accordingly. Go in understanding that this is a new experience—one you want to have, but one that may not be as mind blowing as you’ve imagined in your fantasies. Threesomes, like all sex acts, take practice. It may take several rendezvous with the same two people to really nail down each other’s moves and wants.
XOXO GIGI
Part of this blog originally appeared as an interview with Allure.