Prostate pleasure deserves more attention: a sex therapist on the LOKI Wave 2

As a sex therapist, there are certain questions I get from clients that come up again and again. People want to know how to communicate their desires, how to explore something new without feeling awkward, and how to get out of their own heads long enough to actually enjoy what they're doing.

And then there are the questions about anal pleasure, particularly prostate play, where people can arrive with a whole extra layer of questions, assumptions, and sometimes a bit of shame.

So, let's talk about it. Because prostate pleasure is a glorious, glorious thing.

What is the prostate, and why is it sometimes called the “male G-spot”?

The prostate is a pleasure-sensitive part of the body, and it’s sometimes referred to as the male G-spot or P-spot. Exploring it can be an enjoyable way to expand your understanding of what feels good. You don't need to be particularly experienced with anal play or have a big reason for wanting to try it. Sometimes you just want to see what kinds of pleasure your body responds to.

This is one of the reasons I find the LELO LOKI Wave™ 2 so interesting. As a vibrating prostate massager designed for solo or couples' play, it offers an option for people who want to explore this kind of stimulation with a toy built specifically for it.

What is the LELO LOKI Wave 2?

The LOKI Wave 2 is a vibrating prostate massager that uses LELO's WaveMotion™ technology to create a finger-like, back-and-forth movement.

I like that this kind of movement is designed with prostate stimulation in mind, rather than just adding vibration and calling it a day. Of course, everyone's body responds differently, but having a toy that offers a more targeted type of movement gives you another way to figure out what actually feels good to you.

It also has two motors, with each motor controlling one massage handle, so you can stimulate the prostate and perineum at the same time. There are 12 adjustable pleasure settings, too, which gives you some room to experiment with different intensities and sensations rather than feeling like you have to find the one setting that works immediately.

The redesigned, flexible ergonomic internal massage handle is another feature I like. It gives the toy some adaptability, which makes sense for something designed to move with the body rather than against it.

This is something I talk about with clients quite a lot. We can become so focused on whether we're doing something correctly, whether we're taking too long, or whether we're supposed to be enjoying ourselves more that we forget to be present for the experience. Which can be a bummer, if you ask me.

You don't have to know exactly what you're doing from the start. You don't need to have a particular kind of orgasm, be able to tolerate a certain level of intensity, or prove that you're adventurous enough to really “go there.” If you want to explore, the goal is to stay open to your own experience. If you don't enjoy something, that information is useful too.

What does prostate play look like with a partner?

A prostate vibrator can be a fun addition to partnered sex because it gives both people something new to play with together. One person doesn't have to be responsible for knowing exactly what the other person wants at every moment. You can communicate, experiment with settings, pause, and make adjustments together.

That kind of teamwork is often much more useful than feeling like you need to be an expert.

And I think this is where toys can be particularly helpful. They can take some of the pressure off a partner to create every sensation themselves, while giving you something concrete to talk about: faster, slower, more, less, there, not there. Sometimes having something to point to makes communicating about sex considerably easier.

How do you use a prostate massager safely?

The basics are pretty straightforward: Go slowly, use plenty of appropriate lubrication, and pay attention to your body's signals.

There should be no pressure to continue if something feels painful or uncomfortable. And if you're exploring with a partner, consent needs to be ongoing, not something you establish once and then forget about.

I also think it's worth remembering that prostate play doesn't need to end in a prostate orgasm for the experience to have been worthwhile. Sometimes you'll discover a sensation you love. Sometimes you'll discover one you don't. Sometimes you'll have an orgasm and sometimes you won't. Bodies are annoyingly unpredictable like that.

What I appreciate about the LOKI Wave 2 is that it gives people another way to think about prostate pleasure. We spend a lot of time talking about the same few body parts when we talk about sex, as if the rest of the body isn't also a bountiful landscape for expanding pleasure (it is!). I'm always happy to see people opening up the menu a little.

For some, that might mean discovering a completely new kind of pleasure. For others, it might just be a fun new addition to the things they already know they like.

And honestly, I'd love for more people to just give themselves permission to see what they enjoy. You don't have to go into it with a goal or a particular outcome in mind. You can just try something new, pay attention to how it feels, and go from there.

Prostate pleasure: Your questions answered

How do you use a prostate massager for the first time?

Start slowly, use plenty of lube, and give yourself time to get used to the sensation. You don't need to rush straight to the highest setting or expect a particular result.

Is the LOKI Wave 2 good for beginners?

It can be a good option for someone who is new to prostate play because the 12 pleasure settings give you room to experiment with different levels of intensity rather than committing to one sensation. Plus, it’s a really accessible size for one and all.

Can couples use the LOKI Wave 2 together?

Yes! The LOKI Wave 2 is designed for both solo and couples' play, so it can be incorporated into partnered sex as something you explore together.

What lube should I use with a silicone prostate massager?

For silicone toys, a water-based lubricant is generally the safest choice. Avoid oil-based or silicone-based products, which can damage silicone over time.

Is prostate play only for gay men?

Absolutely not. Prostate pleasure is about anatomy, not sexual orientation. Anyone with a prostate can explore it if they want to.

The LOKI Wave 2 is one option for people interested in exploring this part of their sexuality. Whether it's for you will depend on your preferences, your comfort with prostate stimulation, and what you're looking for from a toy. There's no requirement to try everything, but I do have a sneaking suspicion you might have quite a lot of fun finding out what you like.

If prostate play is something you've been wanting to try, it's worth giving yourself permission to explore. It's time to ride the intensity with LOKI Wave™ 2.

Use code GIGILOKI for an additional 20% off all LELO products. And ENJOY!