Beard Rash on a Vulva? Yes, It Can Happen.
Question: My girlfriend has been complaining that when I don’t shave, my beard rubs against her vulva and is giving her beard rash. How do I help fix this?
You know when you’re having a hot makeout session and your girlfriend’s chin get’s a bit red and irritated? Beard rash. Men naturally have 25% thicker skin than most women, so if you rub a beard on a woman’s face long enough, you better believe there will be irritation.
You know where else is sensitive on the female body - perhaps even more sensitive? The vulva. That’s right. Beard rash on her vulva is a thing. (This can also happen for men who have sex with men. While less common, beards can irritate the balls as well. Perhaps we’ll discuss that at a later date!)
“The skin of the vulva is very sensitive and vulnerable to external [irritation],” Dr. Sherry A. Ross, a women’s health expert and author of she-ology. The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health. Period. tells Men’s Health. “With hair follicles and sweat glands, the skin of the vulva can be easily irritated by coarse facial hair during oral sex.”
But if you do rock a beard, Perhaps you’re new to this whole giving head thing, or maybe you simply hadn’t thought about beard rash as a possibility. It doesn’t matter if the vulva is clean shaved, full bush, or neatly trimmed. The inner lips and clitoris are sensitive for one and all. It can happen to anyone
Even if you don’t rock facial hair, you’re not off the hook: Five o'clock shadow is definitely the worst vulva beard rash culprit of all. The short hair is like having your most sensitive area rubbed with sandpaper. So be sure to shave every single day: a clean canvas is the way to a burn-free clitoral zone.
1. Come in from a different angle entirely.
There are many different ways to approach a clitoris. When she’s on her back, your chin is more likely to have contact with her vaginal opening and other areas of the vulva.
“If his facial hair does not touch the skin, it may not be a problem. Others may push their face more forcible on the vulva making it more prone to irritation,” says Dr. Ross. You can protect the actual clitoris by using the clitoral hood as a shield.
“Use more tongue, finger play, toys, and less chin action. Focus on giving pleasure with broad licking and flicking motions of the tongue while avoiding vulva-contact with the beard,” says Dr. Kristie Overstreet, PhD., a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist.
Another alternative? You can try a 69, this way her vulva is less likely to come in contact with your fury chin. If 69 is a difficult position for you, try in on your side. Just be sure you focus on your tongue, and don’t make full-face contact with her clitoris.
2. Try layering
The fact of the matter is, when it comes to the clitoris, all women have different preferences. Some enjoy direct stimulation, while others may find tongue-swirling on the glans (the the rosebud-like tip of clitoris, visible on the outside of the vulva). too intense. This becomes especially true when you throw beard rash in the mix.
If your girlfriend tells you her clitoris is feeling sensitive or overstimulated, try layering. Drape the labia minora and/or majora with your fingers over the clitoris to avoid direct contact. You can hold the lips in place. This gives her the stimulation she wants, while keeping your beard at bay.
Be sure to communicate with her. If you ask her what she wants and what feels good, you’ll score major points.
3. Shampoo and oil your beard.
The coarser the hair, the more irritating it can be to the vulva. Meaning, if you have a thick, unruly mountain-man beard, your girlfriend’s vulva is going to be at risk for road rash.
Ross suggests using a beard-softening shampoo and after-shower oils to keep your beard lush and soft. While this won’t entirely eradicate the problem without some proper technique, it will certainly help keep things … smooth.
I love the Jack Black line for all things beard-related. They make an excellent beard grooming kit. It comes with a scrub, wash, shaving foam, and after shave oil. They’re Kalahari Melon beard oil will have you smelling like a god of sex.
4. Try coconut oil.
For extra comfort, you can use a thin coat of 100 percent all-natural coconut oil on her clitoris as an extra barrier between your beard and her vulva.
The best coconut oil is unrefined. While there are brands that make coconut oil-based lube, you can find it at your local health food store. We prefer to keep it easy.
Just be sure to ask your partner if she enjoys uses coconut oil. It’s a unique texture and isn’t for everyone. Coconut oil is also both as natural antibacterial and isn’t a favored choice is your partner is prone to yeast infections. Check in with each other!
Do not use oil-based lubes of any kind if you’re using latex condoms during intercourse or oral sex. Oil can corrode latex, causing breakage.
5. Give something else a try for a bit.
Think about the last time you had a sex marathon: Your penis can get road rash from overuse, too. It happens. If she’s uncomfortable, there are other ways to enjoy sexual play that don’t involve cunnilingus.
Always talk it out and suggest alternatives. Encourage your partner to let you know if she is feeling discomfort or pain. You do not want her to “endure” the pain for your benefit. That is no fun for anyone. “Find other ways to enjoy one another that doesn't involve vulva-contact until the pain goes away.” Dr. Overstreet tells me.
Maybe give doggy-style a go or see if she’s interested in reciprocating oral sex while she takes a break. Perhaps some anal action is on the menu?
If you’re looking to focus on her pleasure alone (kudos to you!) you can try lightly teasing around her vulva with a vibrator or internally stimulating her G-spot with your fingers or a G-spot wand.
The ways we enjoy each other sexually are literally limitless. Don’t let one speed bump slow you down.
XOXO Gigi
This article originally appeared on Men’s Health.
Order the book: All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life.