Soaking is having a media moment and I really wish it weren’t.
Question: What is soaking and does it really not count as sex?
First things first, what the heck is soaking? Is it different from other forms of penetrative intercourse?
Soaking is when a person with a penis puts their penis into a vagina and then holds very still. It is Mormons who do this, as far as I know. You're literally "soaking" the penis in the vagina -- which, yes is a nauseating way to put it. It's different from other penetrative intercourse in that there is no movement. You're holding very still. The idea being that if you don't hump, it doesn't count as sex.
Sometimes a friend or third person will jump on the bed in order to facilitate the movement -- again this is seen as a loophole because the people doing the soaking are not moving and therefore, aren't sinning. I'm not entirely sure how well this actually holds up with Mormon elders or the church. I assume not well, but I could be wrong. Any mormons want to weigh in on this? Comment on the post!
Part of the reason people are soaking is because it supposedly allows them to preserve their virginity … but this is some serious bullshit, actually.
Virginity is a social construct and actually is medically meaningless. Hymens are usually linked to virginity -- but this is again medically meaningless as a hymen cannot determine whether or not you've been penetrated. Hymens come in all shapes and sizes - and sometimes people don't have them at all. Virginity is not a state of being or a fact, it is a social constructed rooted in the control of women and their sexuality.
Interestingly, in most churches would absolutely count as losing virginity because the vagina is being penetrated -- so I'm not entirely sure how soaking even caught on as being a loophole with the Mormons.
The risks of soaking (because this is not a risk-free adventure, my loves)
Soaking carries the same STI risks as all other forms of penetrative intercourse. Just because you aren't moving inside someone doesn't mean you couldn't be exposed to an STI.
For people who want to experience pleasure without having penetrative sex, there are other options that aren’t soaking (which, frankly, sounds awful).
There are a million ways to experience pleasure that have nothing to do with intercourse. Masturbation, hand sex, oral sex, etc. The problem is that these are also seen as sinful within the church. This is highly limiting and probably the reason young people are forced to be so creative.
Policing teenagers sexuality is DANGEROUS.
Study after study has shown that trying to teach abstinence and trying to control teen sexuality doesn't stop teens from having sex. What it does is make teens have sex in unsafe ways. Without proper education STI and teen pregnancy rates skyrocket.
It also creates a culture of shame where people feel badly about their wants and desires -- and this can actually lead to sexual dysfunction. Shame is the main ingredient in poor sexual experiences and a lack of pleasure.