Have you heard of transcendental sex?
Question: Is it possible to have sex that is akin to a religious experience — because I want that.
Have you ever had a sexual experience so incredible, so earth-shattering, that it changed the way you looked at the world forever? If yes, you’ve come to the right place. If no, don’t sweat it because I obviously did all the research for you!
Let’s talk about transcendental sex. Basically, transcendental sex is when you is when you have a sexual experience that literally takes you into an altered state of consciousness and connection. Some even describe it as being directly plugged into the universe.
This is sex that is like no other. It is deeply connected, next-level embodied, and possibly mind-blowing (in a good way).
Transcendental sex can take you to new heights, psychologically, emotionally, and even spiritually. It’s sometimes called the DMT effect. DMT refers to the drug Dimethyltryptamine, which is known for its powerful hallucinogenic and mood-altering effects. It's often called the “spirit molecule” because it has been linked to having spiritual experiences by those who have taken it.
Transcendental sex is like experiencing a high on drugs, without taking any drugs. All the good stuff, none of the dangerous stuff.
This non-goal oriented form of sex focuses on the journey of the erotic experience. You’re able to explore a sexual experience and your sexuality in a way that far surpasses the physical act of sex itself. It’s heavy stuff, man.
OK, here is everything you need to know.
What exactly is transcendental sex?
Transcendental sex is sex that takes you into an altered state of mind, giving the impression of transcending into a different realm within the self and universe. It is, quite literally, mind-blowing.
Experts I’ve spoken to tell me that most people who experience this do so by accident. They’re just so in the moment, so connected to their partners, that they feel (almost) high. The more chilled out and present you are during a sexual experience, the more likely you are to experience a transcendent state during sex.
For those intentionally exploring this kind of sex, it is non-goal oriented, meaning it strives to leave the need for orgasm at the door. If you have orgasms, great, but the central focus is on the heightened experience, rather than the destination.
The vagus nerve plays a big part in this — because when we stimulate this bad boy — we can actually experience an altered state within the calmness it produces. The vagus nerve is the biggest nerve that controls the whole parasympathetic nervous system — which controls resting, digesting, hear rate and more. Basically, we need to it to be stimulated to feel calm.
The feeling of meditative calm linked with vagus nerve stimulation, and subsequent activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, has the potential to lead to a state of perceived transcendence during sexual experiences.
What are the benefits of having transcendental sex?
Transcendental sex has similar benefits to practices such as mindfulness, yoga, and meditation – in that it aims to connect and amplify the connection between soma and psyche (our bodies and minds). It can make you feel more in-tuned with yourself and the universe — and overall contribute to feeling more at home in your body.
Lastly, it fosters deep intimate connection. When we have an experience like this with a partner, it can be deeply healing and bonding. I personally love that for us as a species.
Is it worth trying?
Basically, it’s really up to you and what you want to experience. While these experiences tend to be spontaneous, they can be cultivated with practice.
Whether or not you want to try it may hinge on whether your current partner(s) is someone you want to “go there” with, as it can make you feel closer to a partner. So, is this someone you want to feel closer with and feel safer with? Only you and your partner get to decide if this is something you’d want to pursue.
Are there any downsides?
Due to the intense nature of having sex on this emotional and spiritual level, there is one major downside that we have to address: Who you’re having this kind of sex with and what that relationship means to you. It’s of utmost importance that you work to have these experiences with someone you trust – whether that be a partner or yourself.
You don’t need to be with a long-term partner in order to have this experience safely, you just have to be sure the person you’re engaging with is someone you feel safe with.
When we reach intense emotional highs during sexual experiences, we can sometimes experience a ‘drop’ afterwards. Much like experiences with intense kink scenes, we need to have awareness of how the cocktail of hormones in our brains post-transcendence may impact us. Clinicians refer to this as the settling of adrenaline and other euphoric neurochemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin, post-experience. In kink, this crash is known as ‘sub drop’ or ‘top drop.’
If we’re not with someone we trust, or don’t receive proper aftercare, the come down can be quite upsetting. We may experience feelings of shame, anxiety, or sadness.
To avoid this pitfall, always ensure you’re taking proper care, properly negotiating boundaries with your partner, and have an aftercare plan in place. Your safety (both physical and emotional) is always key.
If this is something you want to try, here are 5 ways to do it.
Try daily somatic practices.
Making a meditation and mindfulness habit can be a great way to start building towards this kind of sex. It’s all about creating time and space to be present and comfortable in your body.
Create a calm environment for sex.
Having the right setting is crucial to feeling calm and embodied enough to experience a transcendent state. Set a good amount of time aside to devote to this. Light candles, play your favorite relaxing music, and make sure your room is cozy and warm.
Let go of expectations.
Relaxation is the name of the game. This means we need to let go of any pressure we have around orgasms – and yes, transcendent states. It’s counterintuitive but it’s the only way to be present enough to get there.
Slow everything down.
In order to refocus attention away from performance and towards connection, we need to take things slowly. The slower you go, the more space and time you have to feel connectedness. Try deep breathing and eye gazing in tandem with your partner to help create closeness and connection.
Avoid substances.
Since transcendental sex requires connection to the body and mind, you should avoid drugs and alcohol. These substances slow down the messaging system between the brain and body, making the possibility of transcendent states nearly impossible. When we’re feeling dulled from our senses, we can’t tune into ourselves enough to transcend into any altered state that is meaningful.
Above all, be sure you’re having FUN. These experiences can be profound, but that doesn't mean the desire to have them should stop sex from being explorative and exciting. When we’re enjoying ourselves, we’re in a better mindset to allow us to let go and fully experience sensation and connectedness.
Happy transcending, yall!